Moscow - Even five years after Beslan's fatal hostage drama, the families of the 338 people killed find it hard to come to terms with the attack that changed their lives.

This year, they have sent a letter to Russian President Dmitry Medvedev ahead of the anniversary, insisting on a meeting.

Golos Beslana - Beslan's Voice, the victims' group - is demanding an independent probe into the attacks, in which separatist Islamist militants from Chechnya and Ingushetia took 1,128 children, parents and teachers hostage on their first day at school after summer recess.

Three days later, the siege ended in a bloodbath, when Russian soldiers stormed the school and tried to overpower the terrorists with brute force.

In total 186 children were among the 338 killed. Dozens of survivors were injured so badly that they have remained disabled.

The hostage drama, carried out by more than 30 terrorists against hundreds of children, shocked an international community already stunned following the September 11,
2001 attacks in the US. Never before had hundreds of children been seized in a terrorist attack.

Nonetheless, Moscow continues to reject the survivors' demands for an independent international inquiry into the attacks and the possible involvement of Russian secret agents in the massacre.

A Russian parliamentary probe initially dared to challenge Moscow's response to the siege, arguing that the Russian negotiators had neglected the hostages' safety. However, such critical voices seemed to fall on deaf ears. Reports from the probe were silenced.

Susanna Dudijeva of the Beslan Mothers' Committee says the objective investigation of the attack, the punishment of the perpetrators and help for the injured remained open issues.

Her group reckons that about 50 terrorists were behind the attacks. Only one of them was sentenced. Nur-Pashi Kulayev, a Chechen rebel, was jailed for life in May 2006.

Kulayev was reportedly the sole surviving terrorist of the siege. However, some former hostages complained that they did not recognize among the bodies the faces of those who had tormented and kept them without food and water for 52 hours despite blazing heat.

The gruesome attack and Russia's response to it also failed to still the violence in the Northern Caucasus. Attacks have again increased ahead of Beslan's memorial day.

At least 25 people, including children, were killed when the police headquarters in Nasran in Ingushetia were struck by a suicide bomber in mid-August. More than 200 were injured in the blast.

Human rights activists as well as high-ranking public servants were killed in further stand-offs between Russian security forces and Islamist militants.

In a haunting memory of Beslan, security alerts were raised for the beginning of this school term.

For the survivors of Beslan, suspicions remain that the Russian government - from local police all the way up to then President Vladimir Putin - has not only failed their children, but is also trying to cover up this failure.

According to official sources, the fatal fire-fight between terrorists and security forces was prompted by an explosion in the school's sports hall.

By contrast, Yuri Savelyev - a Duma representative and member of the initial parliamentary commission - reported in 2006 that the Russian security forces had stormed the sports hall without any consideration for the children.

A small group of secret service agents had ordered the Russian counter-attack against the recommendation of the crisis management team which was staffed by civilians.

Five years after the tragedy and the initial wave of international support it triggered, many survivors in Beslan feel they have to fend for themselves.

As every year on September 1, they are lighting candles at the site of the school where their children and relatives died.

As every year, on September 3 at 1.05 pm (0905 GMT) they will release 332 white balloons into the sky over Beslan - one for every person killed. (dpa)