An ill-fitting pair of jeans is the last thing a woman wants to be seen in. After jibes from well-meaning friends, Monica S Gatphoh goes brand hopping in the city, with disastrous results. Read on...

I know it’s sale season and some of my favourite brands are offering huge discounts. But this one time, I want a pair of jeans that fit, well, wickedly. Not that I want parts of me bursting at the seams. I want that vamp-but-still-decent-look.

I go to the neighbourhood Levi’s, pick a couple of jeans and get into the changing room only to emerge baffled. The waist size is alright, but whatever happened to the er... behind?

So, off I head to Wills Lifestyle. This time I am prepared. Take in half-a-dozen pairs with me as I dive into the trial room. Ten minutes of huffing and puffing, still cannot not find mera wala jeans. What is with these manufacturers, anyway? It takes a lot of squirming, twisting and jumping to pull the jeans up to my waist. The ones that fit are the ones with heavily embroidered flowers and what-have-you. But... dhinchak ishtyle is simply not my style.

A couple of shops and brands later, I realise that while all my previously bought ‘branded’ jeans have become too loose at the waist and hence, dangerously low, it has become mission impossible to get that perfect fit.

I also realise that the pair that fits perfectly is the one with the length shortened so much, I will be accused of being a victim of recession.

I refuse to get them tailored. I don’t even want to elaborate on the entire process. Plus, tailored jeans? Never mind the missing brand tags, what about the small details? The red or orange tabs? The sleek (once upon a time) fit? Should I succumb to a brand’s particular body shape? It’s tempting, but I think not. Too much effort has gone into my losing weight that I can’t even think of getting back to plump land anymore.

So, should I go ahead and buy a pair and break into them or should I rely on my trusted belt to hold it together for me?

Monica S Gatphoh/ DNA-Daily News & Analysis Source: 3D Syndication