New Delhi, Dec 12 : It won''t be long before a large group of people march to Wagah on the India Pakistan border carrying lit candles in their hands, seeking friendship with that country. Makes for great pictures, gives them all the publicity, but where does it take the relations between India and Pakistan?

It is high time that we learn to be realistic about our neighbour. There is far too much talk about the cultural affinity between India and Pakistan and the fact that we were one country at one time. Yes, we were one at one time. They sought separation and got it. It is a different matter that they do not know what to do with the country that they got?

The founders of Pakistan failed to give that country a stable Constitution. The present rulers have totally forgotten what their founder Mohammad Jinnah wanted the country to be like? The country has become a fiefdom of its army ever since Gen. Ayub Khan staged a coup in 1958. It is not a country that has an army, but it is an army that owns a country

The army in Pakistan can continue to control and own that country so long as it can project that it faces a threat from India. Take away that threat perception and the Pakistan Army will lose all its clout. This is clear like daylight to anyone who wishes to see it, yet there are people in India who keep making noises about "people to people relations", "one culture" and so on as though the other side is waiting with open arms to befriend Indians?

Whatever cultural affinity existed between the two people has been destroyed. Pakistan today is an altogether a different kind of nation and people. There may be a miniscule minority having values similar to the Indian middle class, but the large majority of the ruling class have been converted to ''Wahabi'' Islam. Efforts have been made to indoctrinate Muslims in India as well.

The fact that we are a different people with different values stands out if you look at the matrimonial columns of ethnic newspapers in London where Muslims seek life partners. Any ad by an Indian family seeking a bridegroom would clearly say that the prospective bridegroom should be an Indian Muslim and belong to an Indian Muslim family resident in the U. K. Why?

The answer is clear. Non- resident Indian Muslims living in the United Kingdom by now know the vast cultural gulf between the people of two nations.

It is common knowledge in the sub-continent that over the years, Pakistan has managed to virtually wipe out the Hindu, Sikh and Christian minorities in that country. The stress is completely on ''Wahabi'' Islam, with which India has nothing in common.