Buenos Aires - "Best wishes on Mother's Day, Mum. By the way, I am gay."

The coming-out of one's own children has thrown several mothers off their chairs in more liberal societies. In Catholic, conservative Argentina, however, it continues to imply great fear and family drama.

One mother even wished her son's death after such a revelation, says the German-Argentine Irmgard Fischer, herself the mother of a gay son. As a result, she founded the first association for parents of homosexuals in Argentina in a bid to help others.

Laws banning discrimination of homosexuals were passed in the South American country over 10 years ago. Since 2003, same-sex civil unions have been legal in parts of Argentina, and Buenos Aires is considered the capital of the gay movement in South America. Yet the act of coming out remains tense.

Argentina remains a conservative country, marked by Catholic customs and is full of machos who are both boastful and inhibited. On the sidelines of gay luxury hotels - like the Axel Hotel recently opened in Buenos Aires - and gay cruises, everyday life is still dominated by intolerance and the rude jokes of fellows in belated puberty.

Men holding hands or women who kiss each other, which are frequent sights in other cities, are very rare on the streets of Buenos Aires. And if they were more common, they would most likely be a rock on which most would stumble.

"Of course I respect homosexuality, but it is still strange for me when I actually see something like that," says one young Argentine who stares at two men kissing in a nightclub early Saturday morning.

To look at some, you would think their eyes are about to pop out of their sockets and whispers of "I can't believe it" go around.

Fischer herself needed a long time to come to terms with her son's homosexuality. She thought only of the silly jokes heard everyday on the street and on the radio. However, she had no idea of what homosexuality actually was - a problem that many Argentines share.

At first she was shocked, the revelation left her "cold as ice," the 73-year-old woman recalls. Then, she started to gather information, and tried to understand what her son's gayness meant. And quickly, Fischer founded an organization - unprecedented in Latin America - for parents of homosexual children.

The model for her initiative was an association in Germany which she discovered through her son.

"I thought to myself we need something like that over here," said Fischer, whose parents left Germany and stayed in many countries before finally settling in Argentina.

Still, despite the fliers that she handed out at every gay gathering, nobody came to the meetings for the first year-and-a-half.

"It's obvious. Children do not tell their parents about their homosexuality, so why should these parents care that we exist?" she explained.

Only when Fischer herself ventured into the open with a personal "coming-out," did other parents in similar situations make contact with her.

Nowadays, up to 30 people attend to the monthly meetings.

The worst thing for parents, Fischer said, is the thought that they will not have grandchildren. Many of those contacting her are ashamed of having done something wrong in their children's education, and they are scared of how they will be judged by society.

Consequently, hardly anyone dares to even mention homosexuality, she explained. Many of those affected lead double lives, a drama for all those involved.

In Argentina, homosexuality is still a sort of misfortune.

"When I told my friends and acquaintances about my gay son, all of them seemed somewhat glad that it had not happened to them," Fischer said. (dpa)